That’s it, It’s over, I can’t do this anymore!

I’ve tried nonstop to try and film, edit and upload videos for over six years now. It has most recently become near impossible to do this at all. For some reason the video won’t publish to youtube, I’d say it started with the PPAP video. I went in to see professionals about it and they showed me different ways to do it, but it still proves to be difficult.
I put so much work in to filming and editing that to just fail in the upload stage is such a shame. But calling it quits is not a new idea to me in regards to youtube. Youtube is my love-hate romance that has gone on long enough. I don’t think I’m alone in feeling this way. Other youtubers have called it quits recently and I think I see why.
Firstly, the views aren’t there anymore. If ever we were getting lots of views, youtube sometimes reevaluates their algorithms so we get less views and less subscribers. Not that view counts are everything, but acknowledgement is nice. It’s why I get endlessly happy when I get a like, favourite or comment on something I did. It acknowledges my efforts.
The next reasons are more personal to me. I have recently realized the line between privacy and the internet. Acknowledgement is nice, but at what cost? I wish that people cared about me and accept me for who I am, but posting my life on the internet seems like an odd way to go about things. Many times I’ve wondered and been okay with everything I post on the internet because it’s me and it’s true in my opinion. But when was this deemed okay? There has always been a divide between public life and private life. Recently it has transformed into the inclusion of an internet persona and how that is balanced within both sectors. My internet persona is a great balance of what I wish to show the world in my views. It is private to a point but always edited to show what I want to display to the audience. I am not afraid of saying this, because it is true for all youtubers.
I wish to ponder on that point a bit more. I’ll leave that as is. Where is the divide? What are we comfortable sharing with the audience? It is not a new topic of discussion. Quitting is and some youtubers have reached that point. Everyone’s reason is different, mine just happens to coincide with malfunctioning uploading software and a readiness to leave what I devoted up to a decade of my life being a part of. Views change, people change, youtube is ever-dynamic and I have somehow found myself grown out of it.  I would probably end up crying if this were any other stage of my life. But this was just a hobby, a new way of expressing myself and keeping friends and family into the loop of what is going on with me. I may have failed to some extent to that end, but the attempt was there. I wish it was less competitive, that there was less dependency on monetization and privacy, but it is what it is. A video-sharing site used for communication. I don’t want to leave this on a sad note. I’ll always have it as a part of my life and I may still post videos every now and then but today and right now I still have this blog. So please keep watch over it.

And as always, I’ll see you when I see you, lovexlyrics bye.

That’s it, It’s over, I can’t do this anymore!

2 thoughts on “That’s it, It’s over, I can’t do this anymore!

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