When I was younger the concept of legacy was often on my mind. Although at the time I didn’t think of it in that particular way. I often thought about if I was no longer around what would I leave behind? At most I could agree that my family would be quite upset.
But so much has happened since those days where I wondered what would be left behind if I left (I will admit I’m no stranger to suicidal tendencies) – and I have left a legacy, however small, behind me.
I like to think that those moments where I “pretended” to be a professional (blank) count as steps towards a legacy being built. When I was in middle school I tried to be a writer and have since written a book which was self-published as well as many other unpublished stories and poems.
I then tried my hand at being a musician in high school. I wrote over five albums worth of songs and performed at many open mics, which were my form of a live performance. I got a taste of the rockstar life in that way.
After university I soon began building a resume which would help me in what I saw myself doing in the long run. I volunteered in child care, online suicidal networks and becoming a role model. Each of these volunteer roles were things I wanted to do for a long time but never got around to. Now that I have all this free time I can begin crafting who I want to be. When I think about the future I see myself as a school counsellor helping others.
I soon began to notice small pockets of contentness where I felt if life ceased to exist, I would be okay. After a performance or a good shift I thought that everything would be alright. In other moments I think that a legacy is something that can’t be helped. Whether it be now or a few years from now, our existence lasts only in the encounters we have had. I don’t plan to have everyone know my name and face. I just care about the ones who I have come across thinking well of me if possible. Although some things can’t be helped. In the big picture I wouldn’t mind this being it, me living life and enjoying it well. A legacy isn’t something to concern myself over if it can’t be fully accounted for on my own. And I’m fine with that.
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