I’ve decided that I am no longer going to weigh myself on the scale. This is perhaps a long time coming.
I realized one day when weighing myself that it is an altogether pointless endeavour. I weigh a certain weight (ladies never discuss their weight :p) and it’s been minorly acceptable to me, however not perfect. There is a scale of weight that one should be for their height and I range in the lower to middle range. Although I’ve always aimed to be in the lowest range. I may never get there again.
Truth be told I have a number in my head..that number I’m okay with revealing here: 110 pounds. I thought that that would be the weight to strive for and maybe after that I can strive for 100 pounds and then on from there. I haven’t been 110 pounds in awhile though. I’m talking pre-puberty. Maybe if I had a smaller cup size or amputated a leg I could reach this goal that I set for myself, however, I am not interested in reducing or removing anything. I am happy with my body. As long as I work out as often as I do and do as many exercise as I set out for myself I am happy. Besides which, muscle weighs more than fat.
I have to note the implications of weight as well. One’s weight is merely the amount of mass that one takes up in the world. The less mass the less space taken up. I’d go so far and bring up the feminist view as well. Weight loss is a conspiracy for women (and men) to weigh less and thus have less of an impact in the world. Less weight= less space taken up= less importance or impact made. Who would desire such a thing? I exist and take up as much space as I do, that’s that.
Furthermore weight is linked with eating. I have had my bouts with eating. In high school I was trying to eat as little as possible and perhaps weigh less to, as mentioned above I would aim to lose ten pounds and then lose another ten pounds. The beginning stages of anorexia however not taken to an excess. That odd history is there and always will be. It would be liberating to never fall into that habit again and that has brought em here: as long as I’m healthy, I am happy. I may not be the weight I always envisioned when I was younger but I am a healthy weight and perhaps that’s all that matters. Saying I won’t weigh myself is making a promise with myself that I won’t compulsively try to lose weight or starve myself to get to a certain weight. It is a promise to be okay with who I am and how much I weigh. It is a promise of acceptance.


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